The “A Go Go” bars are generally lit dimly with seductive washes of red and blue lights in particular. This can hide many anatomical details of your potential bar fine girl that might otherwise put you off! Here are a few tips starting from toe to head, yes that’s right, don’t start at the face as you will invariably get it very wrong…

Toes and feet…Does your young lady of choice take care of her feet? Are her nails tidy and varnished tastefully? What shoes is she wearing? Do they fit? All these small details reveal a lot about personality, cleanliness and general state of affairs upstairs!

Next are the legs and knees. Do you see a lovely set of pins or would she be better suited to stand at the end of a bowling alley on Blackpool Pier? Also, knees… Is there evidence of toughened skin or carpet burns? This could indicate there are more miles on the clock than first appeared.

Ok, now we are in arse territory. If she is wearing next to nothing it will be easy to check for cellulite and stretch marks, this may sound more like a trip to the cattle market than pulling a bird, but in reality it is just that. You are about to pay for your goods, so have a good check to see what you’re getting before you splash your cash. There are no refunds in this game, it’s strictly sold as seen! 

Some girls will hide a less than desirable arse so it pays to check.

Now we are in the six pack territory. Do check for the tell-tale signs of one or more children being brought into the world. Some guys are not bothered by stretch marks and scars, but this lady might have a child or two she would like you to sponsor. Enough said!

It’s boob time…. Most Thai birds have small boobs, however, some are rather large. The birds with big guns that are natural tend to be bigger built than the 40 Kilo ladies that most farangs desire. Little lasses with big whammers normally means that your previous incarnation paid for an enhancement before he fell off the condo balcony, or just went home because he ran out of money.

And finally it’s the face and personality, the latter being very important to the minority that like a conversation before and after exploring and discovering, is she a Bomb Shell or a Bomb Crater?

Epilogue – It’s not a bad idea to check the size of her feet. UK size 7 and above together with big hands and a rather large panty bulge are generally good indications that she is in fact a he.)