Dress to impress! If you want to attract the best looking girls in Pattaya don’t go out on the pull wearing a vest, shorts and flip-flops; it just screams “Cheap Charlie!” So, a nicely ironed shirt, trousers and good quality shoes will go a long way to make the lady on your radar think you’re a super polite loaded farang! Also, it’s worth remembering that if you are wearing a patterned shirt you should wear plain trousers. The opposite is true if you wear patterned trousers. (If you go for clashing colours and checked patterns all over your garments you will be rather confused when the girls start talking to you in Russian!)

You may have hired a Honda PCX for your two week holiday, but if you put your keys on a Mercedes key fob your lady of the night may just think she’s hit the jackpot. (If you’re brave enough go for a Lamborghini or Ferrari!) Wear a quality aftershave, and yes, have a shave! Don’t wear anything fake and a real iPhone 5 will raise attention, just don’t leave it on the bar and expect it to be handed in when you roll back to your hotel room half cut… Have your photo taken with you and your car of choice, make it look like it really is yours, crouch down in front with your hand on the bonnet, like you have just caught the world’s biggest cat. It’s probably best not to sit on it just in case the owner is watching you or the car is alarmed! Keep the photos on your phone, together with some ‘photo shopped’ images of you with famous people, do you best to make them look real. (Make sure it’s internationally famous people that a young Thai lady will recognise, Psy would be a good choice followed by Pitbull and Lady Gaga.)

An important business call from a friend will impress too on your first date, especially if you start talking big numbers about buying land or a 5 bedroom pool villa. When she finally susses you out that you’re only a ‘Two Week Millionaire’ have your Nike’s ready for a quick exit, she probably promised her Motor-Cycle Taxi boyfriend a cut of your money after you accidentally fall off your condo balcony whilst taking a ‘selfie’ on your iPhone….. Have fun, be safe!