1./ Don’t talk about the Royal Family or Thai politics. It’s best to avoid discussing any sensitive issues in a public place, especially in a bar. The Thai people in general have the ultimate respect for their Royal Family and it is not appropriate to talk about them and their business, unless of course you are paying a compliment.

2./ Do not have unprotected sex with anyone who works in a bar, or in Pattaya really! (Unless you are present when your new partner has a full MoT at the doctors or hospital. Even then you don’t know if they are playing around.) It needs to be emphasised that working girls and guys have a much higher chance of contracting STD’s and if you dabble in nocturnal activities with such you are exposing yourself to the same risks. Be careful and protect yourself as best you can, just don’t try this with the local condom size range – ask for farang size at the pharmacy!

3. / Try not to fall in love with the prettiest girl in the bar, or any working girls for that matter. If you do you are open to being manipulated and ultimately relieved of your life’s savings. Many foreigners send money to their ‘loved one’ that they met in the bar after returning to their native country, only to find out later that they are one of many…Stupid farang! This is not to say that all bar girls are dishonest, but if you work on a ratio of nine out of ten good looking girls have a local boyfriend and several farang sponsors you can’t go wrong! Some working girls are genuinely looking for a rich foreigner to take care of them, but many realise that it is much better to have several! This is a numbers game, some sponsors never return after their holiday here and some just use the girls for their own selfish needs, so it’s no real wonder that they take what they can when they can. They would rather take 1,000 Baht today than 5,000 tomorrow, you could be gone tomorrow….

4. / That’s a nice looking bell, I’ll think I’ll ring it………….. Only do this if you wish to buy all the girls in the bar a drink, more than one ring often means you are offering to buy everyone in the bar a drink! Many a drunk tourist has done this without realising what they are doing and trying to explain you only have a thousand Baht left when you check bin arrives could be rather embarrassing!

5. / If a Thai girl or guy accidently knocks your drink over, it’s best not to get too upset about it. Just smile and buy another. If you’re lucky the bar will replace it. Thai’s do not like to be shouted at in general when they make a mistake, being polite and humble is the best policy. If you upset a bar girl or guy you may find yourself being ganged up on by several of their friends, if this happens just say ‘katort cub’, (Sorry) pay your bill and quietly leave before you get introduced to their 10 motorcycle taxi friends outside the bar…

6. / it’s not a good idea to ever upset a ladyboy or ‘Katoeys’ as they are known here. Remember they are guys not girls and they fight dirty too and always in a pack! A stiletto attack by several Katoey’s can be very painful and highly embarrassing as your friends take shots on their smart phones for Facebook!

7. / It’s best not to go out to the bars in Pattaya carrying more than the money you need for your night out, well maybe plus a little extra! This is just in case you are unlucky enough to have your wallet emptied by the girl, or guy, that’s sitting on your lap and you are too drunk to notice.

8./ Always carry enough money to cover your bar bill and ‘extras’ if you need a bargirl to cook you breakfast in your room…. Where the policy in most bars is to pay your bill at the end of your stay it is a good idea to keep track of your purchases. If you are a regular in a particular bar they may well allow you to settle up the next day, if this is the case arrange this before you buy everyone a drink!

9./ Don’t take a seat from the next table for your lady or drinking buddy without checking if someone else is using it and just popped to the toilet. It’s normally fairly obvious, just ask if there are others sat at the table. This shows good manners and you have to remember there are many different nationalities and cultures in Pattaya and when you mix alcohol and bad manners together it can lead to misunderstandings!

10./ Last but not least, don’t leave the bar without paying! This sounds very stupid, but if you are used to a system, as in the UK, where you pay for your drinks at the bar before you drink them you may well forget to pay before you leave. It’s easily done if you have had a few. You may be lucky and just get a bargirl wave your check bin at you, it’s a bit embarrassing but no real harm done. Or you may really upset someone if they think you’re doing a runner!